It started with a few drops of blood.Blogmum paged the midwife, the midwife phoned back and everything, she told us, the books told us, the Internet told us, said things were going to be OK.
But as the blood continued and concern ran contrary to the reassurance we'd be given we moved the Nuchal Scan forwards and made the trip to the doctor's surgery.
He welcomed us, gel was rubbed on Blogmum's stomach and the scan revealed... nothing.
It went on longer than we expected. The doctor said he would conduct a vaginal scan and while Blogmum was out of the room following instructions to empty her bladder, the doctor looked at me and told me sometimes there were "difficulties".
The hope was extinguished and as Blogmum came back in the room I was torn between trying not to let my face reveal the news I knew and thinking it was better simply to say: "It's over".
The examination revealed a five week/six week-sized sac which pointed to either a huge miscalculation or a foetus which had simply ceased to be, while still fooling Blogmum's body into thinking it should prepare for a birth - a Missed Miscarriage.
A further scan yesterday revealed it was the latter, and though that was plenty to take in, we had a choice which needed addressing.
We could either allow "nature to take its course" or Blogmum could undergo an ERPC - an Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception procedure.
We were told the ERPC could be performed at Day Surgery (i.e. no need for an overnight stay), required a general anaesthetic and carried the risks associated with any surgery in addition to possible damage inside.
However, the alternative was not simply to just sit it out and wait. Waiting for nature to "take its course" didn't simply mean postponing something it would be less unpleasant to deal with sooner, it also carried increased risk of infection.
We drove to the hospital and, after alternately form-filling and waiting, Blogmum underwent the ERPC.
As far as something like this can do it seems to have gone well, and now she is lying on the sofa, with me working from home and helping her up and downstairs, and answering calls for food and drink.
It's been quite a week.
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6 comments:
I was/am so sorry to hear of this. I do hope that your wife and you are just simply being together, with each other. My thoughts are with the both of you.
Hi Sean,
Thanks for the kind words.
Hi Blogdad... I've just read your blog from start to finish and find myself in tears. I joined Mumsnet 4 weeks ago when I found myself pregnant for the first time. My husband and I are over the moon and are due to go for the Nuchal Scan a week on Monday, but I am very nervous, and was lurking around the miscarriage threads on MN and discovered a post by Blogmum that led me here.
I'm so sorry. I hope you take the time you need to get over this and that I find you tapping away on this blog with a new pregnancy soon.
Hi boobz,
Thanks also for your kind words and the very best of luck for your forthcoming scan. From what I've read/been told we are very much in the minority and mostly the Nuchal Scan will confirm exactly what you hope for - fingers crossed for you.
Hi Blogdad, I'm really sorry to hear about the miscarriage.
Mrs C had a miscarriage about 6 months before P was conceived, we were absoluted gutted. But, I'm sure you know, miscarriages are really common and having one is no indicator of what's to come in future pregnancies.
My hearts with you and I hope that you and Blogmum are doing OK.
Hi Ian,
Thanks for the kind words and glad you had such good news so soon. Here's hoping!
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